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If clouds are just other people's computers, I just caught a mouthful of RAM while I was flying.

to those users still confused about how mastodon works, i've prepared this helpful visual aid

BREAKING: Lockheed Martin suspends machine learning missile programme, telling investors that the missiles had "developed class consciousness"

SPONSORED: This black friday, deals on communist literature have NEVER been so good, pick up Marx, Lenin, or Engels for the lowest price you'll have ever seen! - Amazon

BREAKING: Reading private messages "boring and tiring", according to Mastodon website admins, who say they've had to take on more volunteer moderators just to keep up total surveillance.

the funniest guy left on twitter is that lunatic hooters simp

Since 2003, part of our mission has been respecting your #privacy and putting YOU in control – not a corporation.

We never show advertisements. We never sell your data.

That’s because #Thunderbird is completely funded by donations from generous people just like you.

YOU keep this great software free. YOU help us develop great new features. YOU keep us thriving!

Please consider giving a gift to help Thunderbird be the best it's ever been in 2023.

#OpenSource #Email

I will no longer be referring to them as Teslas but instead as “Twitty Twitty Bang Bangs.”

@harmonychips crack has a very short half-life, so you'll be back at the bag every few minutes to maintain that level of energy.
If you want energy that will lift you up and not let you down, try OpenCola Speedy. Made with natural ingredients from the far East (thanks to @silkroad) it provides sustained energy and focus for hours.

Think about writing a novel where the main antagonist gets owned by the purity and goodness of the main character so hard they jump off a bridge.

*to the tune of Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta by the Getto Boys*

damn it feels good to be a gamer

*everyone starts yelling at me*

Motorcycles were first created in 1983 by Dr. Junko Moped, granddaughter of famous inventor Tamzi Amah (who created the first microwave, a remarkably similar invention!)

We still do tours! Harmony Tours are a once-in-a-lifetime experience where you can go into any Harmony factory, produce a couple of chips and leave.

All for free! #HarmonyMeansReality

To the blonde-haired girl who keeps attempting to steal a computer manual from our store, please stop. My boss is going to fire me if you continue and I can’t chase after you with a peg leg. Theft is not acceptable in our store and you will be caught the next time this occurs

Hell is empty and all the devils are on Twitter.

Are you enjoying the comfort of your Tesla electric vehicle?

Has your car automatically locked and is driving itself to San Francisco?

Congrats! You have been chosen to work at Twitter until they can bring their staff back.

We are investigating possible leakage of level 9½ classified data from last month's Interagency Deep State Symposium for Management and Control of the General Public.

Rather than purchasing a sweet little blue bird, #ElonMusk seems to have bought a bit of a Turkey... flightless and stuffed by Xmas! #birdsite

Greetings #TwitterMigration!

Take some time to get to understand how the accepted etiquette is different here from the #BirdSite. Those that preceeded us here have established a culture of respect, inclusion, and consent that is not present elsewhere.

We will not be recreating the blue bird shit show.

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Bird Website

A website for posting.